Do you struggle with low self-esteem? If so, maybe this sounds familiar:

You wake up already tired, the weight of the day pressing on you before it even begins. Every decision you have to make, big or small, feels like a test you could fail. You doubt yourself in conversations, convinced that people are disinterested and that you’re going to have nothing to say. The compliments you get are hard to take in while even small mistakes linger, replaying on loop in your mind. You often feel small and find yourself apologizing reflexively. At night you ruminate, questioning if you’ll ever feel good enough, and fall asleep exhausted, waiting for the whole cycle to start again tomorrow.

If that sounds like a story you know well, self-esteem therapy may be for you.

Here are some other classic symptoms that signal you could benefit from working with a therapist for self-esteem:

  • Feeling isolated, like you don’t belong and are always about to be found out
  • Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling like you don’t measure up
  • Finding yourself dismissing your abilities and efforts, and experiencing every situation you’re in as possible confirmation on not being good enough
  • Feeling ground down, like life is just an attempt to escape from our inner critic

Self-esteem therapy can be a powerful tool to free ourselves from this cave and to feel, perhaps for the first time, a sense of self-acceptance, pride, and vitality.

Are you ready to feel more confident?

Why do people struggle with low self-esteem?

People are not innately born into the world feeling critical of themselves, yet low self-esteem is a very common experience. Some of the strongest causes of low self-esteem include:

  • Living in a culture that emphasizes competition, achievement, and appearances over everything else
  • Social media has magnified socialcomparison, causing many people to negatively evaluate themselves against the unrealistically perfect lives and images presented online
  • Negative experiences in early life, such as neglect, abuse, or consistent criticism can severely impact self-esteem and lead to feelings of inadequacy
  • Experiences at school or work, like bullying, exclusion, or perceived failure, can foster low self-esteem.

Signs that it may be time to reach out to a self-esteem therapist:

Low self-esteem is not just feeling bad about oneself–people with low self-esteem can exhibit a range of symptoms and behaviors. Therapy for self-esteem can help if you find that several of the following are true for you:

  • Negative Self-Talk: You perpetually criticize yourself and focus on perceived flaws and failures.
  • Perfectionism: You hold yourself to extremely high standards and always feeling like you’re falling short.
  • Reluctance to Try New Things: You avoid opportunities or experiences out of a fear of failure or ridicule.
  • Performance Anxiety: You have a strong fear of situations where you need to perform or demonstrate competence, such as during tests, presentations, or competitive events.
  • Difficulty Accepting Compliments: You downplay or dismiss positive feedback and feel undeserving of praise.
  • Body Image Issues: You have negative perceptions of your physical appearance, and believe others are judging your appearance negatively.
  • Frequent Comparison to Others: You compare yourself unfavorably to others and see others as more successful, competent, or attractive than yourself.
  • People-Pleasing: You go to great lengths to please others, often at the expense of your own needs or boundaries, in an attempt to gain acceptance or avoid conflict.

How can therapy for self-esteem help?

Low self-esteem is not an innate quality–just as it can be conditioned into us by culture and hurtful life experiences, so too can it be conditioned out and replaced by healthy self-esteem.

Therapy for self-esteem can help people examine how painful beliefs about their self-worth have been ingrained in them and begin to reject those beliefs. As this happens, people have more space to cultivate their own, healthier value systems that are less focused on self-perfection and more focused on pursuing the things that give them a sense of meaning and connectedness.

As this happens, self-criticism starts to fade and become replaced by self-acceptance.

Self-esteem therapy can also help people learn how to challenge the beliefs that keep them from taking the risks they may need to take to build relationships and to thrive in the workplace. People suffering from low self-esteem will often almost reflexively dismiss their capacities and in doing so choose to withdraw from potentially enriching relationships and endeavors.

Through therapy they can begin to notice how this process plays out, interrupt it, and cultivate affirming self-statements that help them engage rather than withdraw. As they start to have more success in shaping the experiences they want, they are able to develop healthier self-esteem. When they run into bumps in the road in this process, they can learn to have self-compassion and to not lose sight of their strengths and their growth. An affirming therapeutic relationship that consists of warmth and curiosity helps to facilitate this process.

I am an experienced therapist for self-esteem in Washington, DC, where competition and pressure are high and I have assisted many people struggling to accept themselves–Reach out and let’s talk about how I can help you become the most energized, confident version of yourself.

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." - Carl Jung

Difficulties with self-esteem often co-occur with a variety of other emotional challenges. People struggling with self-esteem often have many symptoms of depression, and may struggle with body image issues. The thought of having to be evaluated by others may trigger significant anxiety, and fears of being rejected may lead to intense reactions to perceived criticism, fueling struggles with anger management. For people who are showing improved self-esteem from individual therapy, group therapy can often help to accelerate their progress.