Sexual difficulties come in a variety of forms. Sometimes people experience pain during sex. Other times people can’t orgasm, or struggle with delayed orgasm. For some, low libido prevents sex almost altogether. While it is always a good idea to speak with a medical doctor about such difficulties, often times the causes may be emotional as well as physiological.
Sex carries significant meaning for each member of a couple. The emotional importance a person places on sex can significantly impact their enjoyment of it. Often, underlying emotional troubles between partners manifest in sexual dissatisfaction and struggles. For those who notice the same difficulties with different partners, the issue is often an internal. A person’s beliefs about how they are supposed to perform during sex can lead to self-perpetuating cycles of anxiety and shame during it.
Because sex can be such an emotionally-charged topic, it is common for people to avoid talking about it. I work to create a safe space where people can feel comfortable opening up about their difficulties and exploring the meaning of those struggles. With this deepened insight, people are often able to develop more realistic and positive beliefs about sex that increase their enjoyment of it. Couples can notice how their broader emotional challenges come up through their sex lives and can start to take steps to address those challenges. Frequently this results in a diminishment of symptoms like pain during sex and low libido.